New Mom Etiquette

Happy Thursday friends! This post has been simmering for quite awhile, and I recently reached out to a large group of my mom tribe for their help. I asked them all what tip they would add for visitors in the hospital or at home in those first few weeks, and they had plenty to share on this topic. Outside of the of course obvious, be sure to wash your hands, and not visiting while under the weather, below are their top 5 tips! 

1. Allow some space. Almost every mama mentioned this in some way! There is so much excitement when a new baby is born, and lots of friends and family want to share in that joy, right away. However, it's very important to remember that this is a special bonding time for the new baby with it's parents, who are trying to adjust to their new role. That new baby will be just as sweet to visit in a couple of days or even weeks once everyone has settled in. 

2. Keep visits short and sweet. This was also mentioned by almost every mama. Whether it be in the hospital or at home. You certainly wouldn't camp out in some one's room or home if they had just had major surgery, and for those c sections mamas, they have. New moms especially need some privacy, and it's difficult to learn how to nurse with a room full of people. Pick up on cues from the new parents on when it might be time to head out. Everyone knows that new moms are exhausted, and it's impossible to rest with a crowd. Also, newborns are very unpredictable and life with them is all about flexibility. It can be tricky to estimate when it will be a good time for visitors to stop by, so always check back in closer to the agreed upon time. 

3. If you are visiting the new mom at home, bringing a little snack is always appreciated. No need to ask her if she would like something, go ahead and just ask her for her Starbucks order, or milkshake flavor. If you are so kind as to bring her a meal, consider bringing lunch or skip the dessert with dinner and bring something that could be enjoyed for breakfast the next morning. These meals often get overlooked and are always much needed. 

4. While you are visiting, if she is solo, offer for her to go grab a shower, and if she accepts, go ahead and wipe down those counters, or take out the kitchen trash. Don't wait to ask if there is something you can do, I promise it's there. If visiting a second or third baby, consider bringing a small something for the older sibling. It will make them feel incredibly special and included. 

5. Most new moms don't need someone to come over and hold the baby "for you". They just spent the better part of the last 10 months, growing this precious bundle, and then giving birth, it is her rite of passage to hold that baby, and she doesn't need a break from doing it quite yet. She does need a break from those day to day chores that still need to get done. Offering to pick up her groceries, or entertain her other child for the afternoon is a huge help. When you are there, be sure to ask how she is feeling and doing, not just how the baby is sleeping or eating, because the answer to that question is every 3 hours. 

A week after we brought our baby home, and Daddy had returned to work, a few of my girlfriends came over one morning, brought breakfast and just relaxed on the couch. They were there solely to check in and visit with me, and what a breath of fresh air that was. They knew how important that was, because they had all been there before too. If you have a new mom in your life, whether it's her first, second, or third time, take the time to shoot her a text, or drop a card in the mail, or even leave her a cup of coffee on her welcome mat to enjoy later. She is so lucky to have a friend like you!