When I was in my first trimester of pregnancy, I remember wondering what I was going to look like with a baby bump. If I had a boy, would I only pop out front like everyone says, or if it's a girl, am I going to gain all over? How long until I'm showing?
In fact, we had a trip to Hawaii planned and I was going to be about 20 weeks at the time. I went swimsuit shopping because I was in that strange time when I wasn't really showing yet, and it just looked like I ate too much dessert while wearing a bikini.
My due date wasn't until early September, so I was hoping to find a couple of suits I could wear then, but would also work at the end of my pregnancy. Not sure how to plan for this, I bought all 5 suits from T. J. Maxx, went home and tried them on with bath towels stuffed in the belly to see how much stretch they would allow. What a sight.
I really didn't start truly showing until about 24 weeks, but by the end of my pregnancy I remember standing in the shower trying to remember what my tummy even looked like pre-pregnancy, and thinking it will never look the same again. Fast forward a couple more weeks after having the baby and totally forgetting how I looked while pregnant.
My skin seems to have a different composition to it since having a baby. So much of my hair fell out right around that 4 month mark, and then it started growing back like a weed, in random spots with a different consistency than before. It still looks like I have some fabulous side burns if I wear it just right. My veins, especially in my legs are much more pronounced than before pregnancy, and we won't even talk about what exclusively nursing for 14 months does.
Workouts for me now, if we can even call them that, consist of walking or jogging (but only fast enough to be sure my sunglasses don't fall off) with the stroller in my neighborhood, or around the loop. Running up and down the stairs, and out in and out of the house 20 times a day, and carrying or chasing my 23 pound, 19 month old around. Not fancy or glamorous, that's for sure, but it's certainly plenty of movement.
Awhile back I read that it takes the female body 2 full years to fully go back to normal post pregnancy. For almost 10 months of pregnancy your body does not belong solely to you anymore, and you continue to share it after wards each time you feed your baby. Like, everything else post baby though, you realize things do not go exactly back to how they were before, but you find your new normal. You embrace your new body.
I can honestly say I have never appreciated my body or loved it more for what it can now do. A body that grew and nourished a tiny person that now walks around, and can tell me her name and all sorts of other things. A body that can somehow carry my child, the diaper bag, 5 bags of groceries, an umbrella and somehow not spill my coffee. A skill I never knew I needed until motherhood. A body that runs and plays and sustains our family and is sometimes sore at night but has served me so well.
And so I am off to go for a walk and enjoy this beautiful Spring day, to exercise and move my body, not because I don't like how it looks, but because I love what it has done.
